Release

I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy June 26Th, 2011 at 2:56 am. 6lbs. 8.8oz. 19 1/2 in. long. 1 hour and 41 min. in labor too long. It was the WORST labor, delivery and recovery Ive ever been through. Don't get me wrong, I'd do it all again to get the same perfect, beautiful, joyous outcome. I just could do without the immense pain, horrible gigantic hemorrhoid's, constipation, engorgement, and feeling like I got ran over by a train that then backed up and ran over me again. Sorry for the graphic description, but I don't want some thinking it's all gravy. It's work. Hard work. All worth it, but none the less, work.

Holding that baby in my arms created something in me that was SO much bigger than it all took to get me there. For weeks I lived in sitz baths and eased to a sitting position. Half the time I propped myself on one butt cheek. It wasn't pretty. I spent days and nights in tears. I couldn't sleep. I finally made a call to the Dr. after MANY failed attempts at Preparation H, Tucks Pads, Tylenol and Anusol. I spent hours on end searching home remedies to no avail. The nurse at the Dr. office was sweet as can be and pushed through a prescription for me. When my husband brought it home, I was in tears again. Suppositories!!!! WHAT?!?! I can't come within an inch of this area without being in pain and they want me to push these where?? I wanted to scream, but all I did was cry. Needless to say, they didn't work. Between tensing up, them coming back out, melting in my hand, frustration and tears, I gave up. I started taking 7 fiber pills, and Excedrin PM at night and praying ALOT. I couldn't tell you when they went away, but I thank God they did. I felt silly taking my hemorrhoid's in prayer to God, but I did.

I believe God wants to talk to you. Period! He wants you to come to him with everything. In the bible it says, "Cast all your anxiety on Him, for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:7 Let's think about that. 1st part of that verse, "Cast ALL your anxiety on Him." Cast means to throw something forcefully in a specified direction. Throw, fling, pitch, toss, hurl, shed. He wants us to cast our anxiety's off of us, and give them over to him. Whatever you're facing, whatever you're stressing over, Big or small, he wants you to cast it on him. The second part states, "For he cares for you." He cares for us! He wants to take our problems and give us peace. Isn't that amazing?? He wants to take our burdens because he cares for us. He wants to help you! He wants to heal you. He wants to turn your anxiety into peace. Remember when I said, "God has wants too." This shows us that. God LOVES when we call upon him. He doesn't want you to feel guilty to call upon him. We're told this in Psalm 50:15. "And call on me in the day of trouble, and I will deliver you, and you will honor me." Again, we're validated with the wants of God. Whatever it is, whatever you're going through, give it to God. He wants to take it all away and all he wants in return is your praise. It's a win/win. You are cleared of your trouble and given peace, and he receives praise.

Think about a time you received something. Whether it be good news, an unexpected gift, a good deal, a compliment. Isn't it something you wanted to share?? You wanted to tell someone about it. It's the same with God. He wants you to share his praise. If there's something you're going through right now in your life, give it to him! He is the ONLY one that can take it away. Drugs and alcohol not only create more problems, but your anxiety never goes away. It's there on a sobering day. Sure, you can continue to live your life weighed down by drugs, alcohol, regret, stress, hate and persecution. But, why would you want to be?? They say, "what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger", but drugs CAN kill you. Alcohol CAN kill you. Regret, stress, hate and persecution, can kill you. Give the weight away. Accept life! Trust me, I've been weighed down. Even as a Christian. I've had problems giving it over to God. I've had problems praying about my troubles. Sure, I can pray about hemorrhoid's, but I've held on to things like jealousy and hurt.

It was hard to let go. They're human traits. It's something we can all possess. It's how we choose to use them that determines how they use us. Hanging on to the hurt I was inflicted gave me a sense that he wasn't released from what he did to me. Unfortunately, neither was I. Because I couldn't let go, I was allowing him to continue to hurt me. I was hurting myself. I was bound by my own chains. That was hard to swallow. It all came down to being selfish. I was too selfish to release him of his wrong doing. But God's not selfish. We're forgiven. If we come in prayer and confess with our mouths our sins, we're forgiven. If God can release us for our persecution of Him, (our sins.) Why can't we release ourselves?? After all, we're the only one's bound. We have the choice to forgive. I always thought forgiveness was releasing, but have learned it's for me. It's not saying it's OK, but it's letting me let go. To free myself from the chains. That's powerful!!!!