Randomness...

I have been blessed with 6 beautiful babies. Scratch that. God has blessed me with HIS 6 beautiful babies. After all, they are not mine. I have been blessed with the opportunity to raise these children to HIS ability. Guide them on HIS path. Nurture them in HIS way. But they are only mine here on earth. They will dwell with him in his house forever. I thank God every waking moment for his blessing. Not once will I take this for granted. Isn't it amazing in a world full of people he chose me?? He thought enough about me to hand pick ME for this job. That's powerful!!

God's Plan...

Everything in my life is according to plan. Not mine, His. Sure, I prayed for these children, but if it wasn't in his plan, his will wouldn't have been done. See, my will isn't always his. That's tough sometimes to swallow. When we want something SO bad & we pray every waking moment for it, then were not given the blessing were yearning, sometimes we shake our fists at God. We waver off his path. But that's not gonna change his plan. It's just gonna separate us from him. Sure, we can change our path, but even that won't change his plan. He had a plan for us long before the desires of our heart wanted. So when I prayed for these babies and I was blessed with them, I was/am eternally grateful. I've been scrutinized many times for having prayed for 6 kids. Yup, that's right, I prayed for them. Well, I may not have prayed specifically for them, but in my cries of hurt and despair God answered my call. After all, he fulfilled my prayer. He blessed me with Daniel. With that, I was brought out of it. He gave me purpose. I prayed for Ryan, was blessed with Brayden, then prayed for Cody, Madison & Paisley. I even prayed for the two miscarriages in Oct & Dec. No, not directly, but I prayed for a child. God just had a different plan. With those two losses I clung to my faith. I never shook my fist at God. I never questioned his plan because it was just that, His plan. Sure it hurt. It hurt bad. I won't lie. But he had purpose cause he knows the WHOLE plan. That was merely a piece to my puzzle.

I may not know the struggles others face with infertility, but I do know the heartache of a loss. Is it any better to have loved and lost then to have never loved at all?? I don't believe so, but they're both easily arguable sides. But that's a whole nother post. I just know it's all a part of his plan. It's all according to his timing.

I find complete comfort in knowing God is in control. HE knows what's best for me. I strongly believe that if he brought me to it, he'll bring me through it. I surrender myself to him & know that he'll protect me. Even in those moments of darkness & despair he will guide me.

I give of myself whole heartily to you Lord. I cry out your name & lift it up in praise. My hands are raised towards the heavens & I feel the peace washing over me. I'm yours Lord, I'm yours!! Whatever my purpose or calling, I will answer. I don't know your plan, or what is to come, but I do know that I'm open to it. I trust in you Lord.

Thank you Lord for my trials and tribulations. Thank you for my time's of despair. Thank you for my losses. I got it God. It's where I needed to be. Right where I needed to be.

*Sometimes God has to put you on your knees to teach you how to pray*